Monday, July 5, 2010

Zombie Luv Flash Fic Contest: All-consuming Passion

After the outbreak, the high wall and iron gate around our house kept them out well enough. But we both knew we couldn’t stay there forever, and once we’d eaten all the food, and felt real hunger, we had to venture forth into the world. I took my dad’s old shotgun, grabbed a torch, shoved all the spare cartridges and some batteries in my knapsack, and we waited for a quiet moment to leave unseen.

It was the middle of a moonless night. Both of us were terrified, but we thought we’d be able to hide ourselves better in the darkness. In the soft starlight the street appeared deserted, so I slowly opened the gate, not letting the hinges creak, and slipped out. Up and down the road all was still.

“OK darling,” I whispered, “the coast is clear.”

We crept along to the corner, avoiding the debris, and set off down the lane to Bob’s farm. There’d be something to eat there - even unattended, potatoes and tomatoes grow well round here.

Now the overhanging trees cast impenetrable shadows and the distant stellar twinkling showed nothing more than a faintly lighter trail where the bare earth track stretched off between the bushes.

Almost tiptoeing, we made slow progress, but stealth was more important than speed. We both grew up round here and knew the way perfectly. It wasn’t the first time we had sneaked off towards old Bob’s barn under the veil of night. The days of our clumsy teenage courtship flooded back to my mind and, despite the circumstances, I couldn’t help but smile.

After an eternity the solid blackness of the bushes fell away on either side and we stood at the low gate before a dull grey clearing with a square shadow on either side - one the ancient stone farmhouse, opposite it the big wooden barn.

I felt along the top of the gate, released the catch, and gently eased it forwards. A sharp squeak pierced the cold night air, and the blood froze in our veins, fixing us as statues for an instant. Now we had to move quickly, so we passed through, and I shut the gate behind us, quietly this time.

I pulled Jenny to the right with me, and we squatted in the shadows close against the bushes to our backs. I silently wielded the shotgun in front of me, scanning for movement.

We listened intently. I could hear nothing, but my heart was pounding in my ears like a funeral drum, and I felt like a juggernaut could have passed without me hearing it.

After a few minutes, I raised myself up, and helped my sweetheart to do the same. We moved carefully round to the back door, lifted the latch and I shone the torch into the passageway. It was empty. Jenny closed the door behind us, and I quickly checked the rooms. All clear. We locked ourselves in the bedroom, and together lifted the wardrobe, placing it carefully against the window, before collapsing on the bed.

When I awoke a soft light was seeping out from behind the cupboard. I kissed Jenny’s forehead, “Wake up gorgeous, let’s look for some food.”

We slipped out the back, and seeing no signs of movement I started exploring the vegetable plot. There were plump courgettes and ripe tomatoes, and after a little digging I had a small pile of potatoes, a few carrots and an onion. I looked up, pleased with my work.

“Jenny!” I yelled. It was just a few steps behind her, tottering closer.

She turned, screamed, and ran towards me.

“Quick, get in the barn,” it was the closet shelter, and we ran for it together. I bundled her in, and turned to defend the doorway, firing off a quick blast. Half the zombie’s head disappeared, and it slumped to the ground with an agonising groan.

The others were already arriving, and I took the first one down immediately, reloading as quickly as I could. I fired off both chambers again, and got lucky - two more monsters fell.

There were three left, ambling across the yard. I had just enough time to reload before they reached me.

I raised the twelve bore and let fly. More rotting brains sprayed into the air, leaving just one, who was nearly upon me. Looking round frantically, I grabbed a shovel and swung it at neck level. The grotesque head flew in an arc and thudded onto the dirt path.

I dropped the spade and reloaded quickly - I wasn’t taking any chances.

Then, “John!!!”

I whirled round and saw the thing emerging from under a pile of straw next to my angel.

BANG! BANG! And it was in pieces on the floor.

“John!” she sobbed as I held her comfortingly, “My leg, it grabbed my leg!”

We had a look, and there on the calf were the teeth marks. Jenny dissolved into a torrent of tears.

“Don’t worry darling, I’ll take care of you,” I soothed. “We don’t even know that it’s spread by biting,” I lied.

“There, there,” I hugged her tight, “It’s OK, everything’s OK.”

I sat there, cradling her in my arms. No more zombies disturbed us, most were in the towns, so I comforted her until she began to twitch and tremble and dribble. And when eventually she sank her teeth into my shoulder, I didn’t resist.

That was a long time ago now, and I’m hungry again. There has been no more fresh flesh for many moons, and most of the zombies are wasting away. My poor Jenny looked so forlorn when the food ran out, what was I to do? First I let her gnaw at my shins and arms. Then she ate my thighs and buttocks. Now she’s started on my ribs.

Soon I shall be just a skeleton, but I don’t care. With her plump grey flesh and flowing locks, my sweetheart’s the finest looking zombie in all the world!

* * * * * * * * * * * *
Zombie Luv Flash Fic Contest


Word count: maximum 1.000

The story must be a romance between two zombies. Make it as horrific as you like. ;

Stories containing animal cruelty, torture, graphic sex or violence, any form of exaltation of violence, racism or other forms of prejudice will be immediately disqualified.

Post your entry on your own blog, with a title resembling this:
Zombie Luv Flash Fic Contest: Story Title

Leave your story title and a link to the story entry post as a comment at mari's randomities:

Copy and paste the contest logo and the guidelines at the end of your entry post.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A Misunderstanding

“You don’t want to sit here!” said the chair, brusquely, as I sat down on it.

Startled, I leapt to my feet.

“Ouch!” cried the carpet, “That bloody well hurt! I’m sick and tired of being trampled on all the frigging time.”

“You think you’ve got it bad,” called the wok from the kitchen, “You should try being me!”

Disorientated, I bolted for the door, slamming it behind me. “Bastard!” it shouted at my back as I ran down the stairs.

I went down to my neighbour Jim’s flat, and knocked on the door. “Hey, what’ve I ever done to you?” it complained, before Jim’s face appeared as he yanked it aside.

“Thank God you’re in, Jim, I’ve gotta talk to you man!”

Jim looked at me curiously, his mouth opened and he said, “Mwer!”

“What’s that?”

He opened his mouth again but, “Mwer, mwer, mwer,” was all I could hear coming out of it when he spoke.

“OK, stop messing around, will you?”

I followed him into the living room, and we both plonked ourselves down on the sofa.

“Ow! My fucking back!” it exclaimed. I jumped up again. Jim gazed at me with a look of intense curiosity on his face.

“Mwer mwer mwer mwer mwer?” he seemed to ask.

“Sorry, I haven’t got a clue what you’re saying, but this is really freaking me out!”

“I wouldn’t bother if I was you,” said the table in the corner of the room.

“Did you hear that?”

Jim just stared at me, puzzled.

“He doesn’t understand you any more than you do him,” chipped in the clock from the mantle piece.

I swivelled round to face it, “And what the fuck would you know? You’re just a clock!”

“Oooh, just a clock! Charming, how d’you like that eh?”

“Typical!” said the table, “As if he could keep track of time as well as you do. They think they’re so fucking superior.”

“Of course we’re superior, we make you.”

“Well that doesn’t prove anything,” the dirty mug on the table joined the fray. “I’d like to see what you’d do if I poured boiling hot coffee straight into you.”

“Ah, but that’s exactly my point, you can’t pour coffee into me can you? You’re just a mug.”

“I am not just a mug, I was issued to commemorate the Queen’s Golden Jubilee, I’ll have you know!”

Meanwhile, Jim’s face was showing deeper and deeper concern as he occasionally mwer-mwerred at me. He stood up suddenly and walked across to the phone in the corner.

“Uh-oh,” mocked the phone, “Now you’re in trouble!”

“Trouble? What d’you mean?”

“Ha, ha, just you wait and see,” it taunted, as Jim anxiously mwer-mwerred into the receiver.

“Ha, ha, just you wait and see!” they all chorused together - phone, mug, clock, table, and so many other objects in the room that as they repeated the chant over and over again the noise deafened me.

I fell on my knees, hands clamped hard over my ears, and bent over forwards till my forehead touched the floor, trying to calm my head that was spinning like the cylinder of a revolver in a game of Russian roulette.

I was still collapsed on the ground when they arrived. I looked up as the three men walked through the door, their white coats almost glowing. Two of them held my arms, as the other one manoeuvred the jacket onto me, and together they tied it up at the back.

“All right, all right, you don’t need to pull so hard!” grumbled the jacket.

“And then they brought me here, doctor, I really have no idea why.”

I look across the small room from the couch where I lie. The doctor sits silently in his chair, the sun at the window casting dark stripes across his pristine coat. He smiles sympathetically as his steely grey eyes meet mine searchingly. His mouth slowly opens.

“Mwer mwer mwer mwer!”

“It’s no good,” the pen in his right hand tells me, “he doesn’t understand a word you say!”